Chastity Play

By engaging in Chastity Play one can learn the pleasuring, teasing, and yes sometimes torment of orgasm denial. Chastity play allows you to discover that sexual fulfillment isn't always about instant gratification. Something that is often a shock to first timers.

Learning to control your arousal and deny yourself orgasms for a prolonged period can lead to greater sexual pleasure and fulfillment.

By introducing and incorporating chastity play into your sex life, both you and your partner can have sexual appetites that are greatly enriched.

Chastity play can bring excitement to your sex life whether flying solo or with a partner.

 

What is Chastity Play?

Chastity play is not something new. It has actually been around for centuries.

The practice of chastity play involves denying yourself sexual stimulation and giving control of your sexual needs to someone else. This someone else is also known as the key holder.

Chastity play can have different meanings for each person who participates and those meanings can be very personal.

Whether it is the relationship between submissives to their key holders, willingness and desire of both to please each other or to give or receive more meaningful orgasms, each person can have very meaningful experiences during chastity play.

Chastity play is not about total abstinence as many might thing. It's about prolonged orgasms and giving up sexual control so you don't know when or if your key holder will allow you orgasmic release.

Furthermore, people who engage in chastity play do not always have sex once released from their chastity device. There are other ways to reach sexual satisfaction.

It can be about pleasuring yourself while your key holder watches then locks you back up in your chastity device afterwards.

Also, chastity play is about the submissive serving their key holder. Having your genitals locked in a chastity device does not mean you can't still give your key holder pleasure.

The key holder has the power and they may want you to pleasure them while you are still in your chastity device thereby denying you orgasmic relief.

They may also have you watch them as they pleasure themselves, teasing you while your genitals are locked away not being able to achieve orgasm.

Denial of orgasm is not always the case, as you may be able to orgasm while you are in your chastity device. It happens with some people who have been deprived orgasmic relief for a long period of time.

 

Safety Precautions

With any fetish, there are always safety precautions. For people who engage in chastity play, they must be aware that precautions need to be taken when wearing a chastity device.

Because it is worn on the genitals for a long period of time it may take some time getting used to it, while others adjust easily.

Chastity devices should be worn with care as they rub up against your genitals causing irritation. If this is happened remove the chastity device until the area has healed. Be sure to keep a close eye on the area and look for signs of infection.

Remember hygiene is very important. More irritation and infection can occur if you don't wash your genital area.

Also, be sure to clean your device daily as bacteria can build up on the device and provide a further threat to infection. Cleaning can be done with the device on and most key holders and submissives prefer the device is worn all the time.

Most devices today are made to allow the person wearing them to use the bathroom and clean themselves.

Here are some great tips to clean your chastity device.

• Start by taking a shower and using the jets to clean around your chastity device.

• Use Q-tips as they work great for getting around harder to reach areas.

• If you are planning to wear your chastity belt for a long period of time then it is a good idea to take it off weekly to bathe properly.

Some do this only if their key holder is around to witness that they do not play with themselves.

• Once you are clean, the key holder will put your chastity device back on until it is time to be cleaned again or when it is time for orgasmic release.

As with all things, just use common sense and be sure to read the instructions that come with the chastity device. Also, you can go online to find out more information about safety precautions.

 

Is Chastity Play For You?

For those who are new to chastity play and want to learn more about adding it into your sex lives, you may wonder how you begin.

Many people may be interested in chastity play but don't know how to go about actually doing it or bring it up the idea to their partners.

First, you need to decide if this is something you would really like to try. One thing that is different with chastity play than the other fetishes I cover is that with chastity you prolong your orgasms in order to achieve greater sexual satisfaction.

You are also giving over control to someone else, the key holder, who is determining when you may receive sexual pleasure.

All this can be very erotic; giving over control of your orgasms to someone and not knowing when you will receive release.

Second, do you know if you want to be the dominant or the submissive partner? Sometimes you may want to be both or one of you may be only the dominant one.

This all depends on you and your partner and what you want to get out of your chastity play. You can always switch roles with your partner to change things up a bit.

The important part of this is that both partners are in agreement about who is assuming what role at any given time.

Third, you need to have honesty and trust in order for a chastity relationship to work. Both partners need to be honest with each other with what they want to get out of chastity play.

Since the key holder has power over their partner, there needs to be an absolute trust so there is no fear of the dominant partner.

Also, the key holder needs to be able to trust their partner to not pleasure themselves when they are not around.

 

Finding A Playmate If You're Single

Chastity play works best if you are currently in a relationship where you can be open with your partner to discuss your sexual fantasies.

However, if you are single there are options available to allow you to practice chastity play.

One option is to hire a mistress who specializes in chastity play. This ensures your first experience will be with a professional with experience in chastity play.

This is a great option for a first timer who needs someone to help introduce you to the ins and outs of chastity play. Sometimes it's easier to share your fetishes with someone you don't know, and that is ok.

Just make sure it is someone with a stellar reputation who ensures privacy and confidentiality.

Another option is to place an ad with Craigslist, Backpage or any other forum where you place ads for sexual partners. Some people have placed ads looking for key holders, some for submissives.

Use caution when meeting people in person. Meet for the first time in a public place to discuss what you plan to get out of your chastity play.

It's best to find someone who has a dominant personality and knows about chastity play. It may take meeting more than one person to find someone you are comfortable with and feel you can trust. That is ok.

It is also ok to meet with them in a public place as many times as it takes for you to feel they understand your intentions and to build that trust. Not everyone is how they seem in an online ad so do not be afraid to take steps to protect yourself and feel safe.

After you have met someone and you both decide to participate in chastity play, the next step is to schedule an appointment.

You should draw up a contract with the key holder that outlines what you have agreed on, what is expected of both parties and states a release date of your chastity device.

The key holder will obviously be the person who holds the key to the chastity device so you don't cheat. However, it's always a good idea to have a spare key in case of emergency.

This is one area where trust and honesty come into play. You can put it in a safety deposit box, making it difficult to get to. Or give it to a family member or a good friend in an envelope not telling them what it is for, just ask them to hold on to it for a few days.

Or just keep it somewhere in your house to where you are not tempted to get it.

Start off slowly at first with chastity play. It is a new experience and I recommend only one or two days of being locked in your chastity device to begin with.

This allows your private areas to adjust to the chastity device, as it can be very irritating at first for some. Plan a date to meet at a hotel with your key holder so they can release you from your chastity device.

Remember that it is not always about having sex with your key holder, especially if the two of you agreed not to have sex but did agree you can masturbate once released from the device.

Once your key holder releases you and allows you pleasure, they should lock you back into your chastity device and leave.

Just make sure that you clean yourself along with your chastity device before putting it back on. This is the time for you to evaluate your experience and decide of you want to continue with chastity play.

If you both decide to continue, make another date but make sure this time you schedule a longer period of time. Another option is to have your key holder decide on which date you shall be released.

They can tell you which date that is or surprise you. The anticipation of not knowing when your key holder will call you allowing your orgasmic release will get even more aroused.

Finally, you can always play chastity play alone, especially if you're unsure if you will enjoy it and want to try it out solo before getting someone else involved.

You just need to be honest with yourself when flying solo. Start by signing a contract with yourself along with a release date. Put the key somewhere safe as mentioned above.

An alternative is to mail the key to yourself so that it gets to you in a few days and you have time to experiment with chastity play.

As long as you have a spare key in a safe place you can access in an emergency this option could reduce temptation to unlock yourself before you really want to.

No matter where you put the key, always have a spare. You don't want to have to call a locksmith to your house to break into your chastity device.

Try it out for a few days at first to see how you like it then unlock your chastity device and pleasure yourself.

You can tease yourself first before unlocking your chastity device by looking at pornographic magazines, watching porn, or going to a strip club.

Use your imagination when teasing yourself before releasing your genitals and pleasuring yourself. Once you've tried it out this way by yourself and you want to try it again, do it for a longer period of time.

When you feel ready you can see about finding someone to play with you as mentioned above.

 

Approaching Your Partner

For those of you in a relationship, you now have to think of someone else's needs besides your own. Bringing up any fetish to your partner can be hard especially if you have known them for a long time and have never brought the topic up before.

They may think that they are not satisfying you sexually, you are not happy in the relationship, or may think your fetish perverse. It may be hard for them to determine if you have never had this fetish and have just now discovered it and want to give it a try or if you have had it all along but didn't bring it up.

All partners like to think they are approachable when it comes to talking about sex. They may be. But our sexual desires and fantasies change over time. As we learn more about our sexual selves, we often contemplate trying new things.

No matter how long you've known someone, whether you just started dating or have been in a long term relationship, it can be difficult to talk about your sexual fantasies.

My best advice is to be open and honest with your partner and to encourage communication, but that is easier said than done.

If your partner is already into fetishes and open about their sexuality then trying out something new may be something they are open to.

However, for those that aren't in a relationship that is sexual adventurous discussing trying something new can be hard on both parties. In order to approach your partner, you need to know what it is about the fetish that you like and what you want to get out of it for the both of you, not just you.

You have to know your desires well enough to communicate them to your partner so they can better understand how it can bring pleasure to you both.

However, if you've been in a relationship for a while and you are no longer having sex then I do not recommend trying to add a fetish into your sex life.

It simply won't help. Usually when couples are no longer having sex, there are deeper issues going on in the relationship that must be worked on before any kind of sex can happen.

If your sex life is great but you want to add some extra fun into it then sit down with your partner and talk about it.

Put yourself in their shoes before approaching them. Think about concerns or questions they may have along with how it will benefit the both of you sexually.

Have some information or books on chastity play available so your partner can learn more.

You can start off by sharing each other's sexual fantasies. Ask your partner what one of their fetishes or fantasies are and promise to do it.

When it is your turn to share, mention chastity play. Tell them that after you finish with the agreed upon time limit and they release you from your chastity device then it will be their turn and you will reciprocate by engaging in their sexual fantasy.

Let them know how much it turns you on for them to have control over your sexual needs. Also, let them know that during chastity play while you are locked in your device that they get to have their way with you and you will attend to their every need.

From doing chores around the house to pleasuring them with full body massages or oral sex on them only. Make it fun for the both of you.

Also, introduce some of the games to play I suggest below or makeup some on your own. Let them have as much control as possible, especially since they are the key holder. Make it fun for them and let them feel as if they are in control of you.

This is great for partners who feel under appreciated. But remember that if you don't already attend to their needs by taking care of the chores, massaging them or giving them oral sex, it will only seem as an excuse to get what you want.

It can't be just about you when it comes to sharing your sexually fantasies with your partner, especially if you want them to participate. It has to be genuine and you have to follow through.

Sometimes your partners may need some time to think about it, so give them their space. If after thinking about it, they are still not into it and don't want to participate then there is nothing do.

Maybe you can suggest not using a chastity device if they find that a little perverse. You can do a trial period without the chastity belt to see how they like it along with proving that you will be attentive to their needs.

But in the end you can't force someone to participate in any sexual behavior they do not want to. They may ask you for something sexual that you do not have any desire to do and it is your right to refuse just as it is their right to refuse you.

If they are not willing talk to them about finding an outside third party to be the key holder and agree that there will be no sex with this person but it will still allow you to explore your interest in this fetish. They may be agreeable to that.

If they agree to it, then start off by setting a time period that you will go without orgasm but you will pleasure them.

Maybe the weekend is a good time to try it for the first time. Start on Friday after work and end on Sunday before bed.

Make sure you cater to their every need. Have them decide when it is time for your sexual release. Remember that it is not just about you having an orgasm, still pleasure them before coming.

After all is said and done, see if it is something they want to try. They may surprise you and be all for it. Or maybe they want to try being denied orgasm.

Sometimes it's good for them to see what chastity play is like on the submissive side. If the answer is still no, then there is not much to do but to give them their space. Maybe they will come around, maybe they won't.

 

3 Ways To Play With Chastity Play

Now that you know the basics of chastity play, let me introduce a few ways you can incorporate it into your sex life.



1. Chastity play doesn't always require you always wear a device. In fact going without one is an easy way to start out for those who may be unsure about wearing chastity devices at first or for partners who are unsure about engaging in chastity play.

This way is a little harder as you might be more likely to touch and pleasure yourself. Again this is where the trust and honesty part come into play.

First, sit down with your partner to discuss how long you want to go without touching yourself. Two days? Three days? A week or more?

What is the right amount of time for you? Start off slow in the beginning to see if it's something you can handle but remember that chastity play is about self-control.

If you are used to masturbating at will trying to go for a longer time without it may be an exercise in futility at first. It may be best to start with a short period of time and work up. Once you decide on a time limit your partner becomes the "key holder".

They have to keep a watchful eye on you and remind you not to touch yourself. Just keep in mind that it will be worth it once you are allowed to orgasm.

When the day arrives, your partner should arrange a time and place for the two of you to meet. Once the two of you are together, let your partner tease you until they are ready to let you cum.

Or they can make you pleasure them until they let you cum. Afterwards, you can switch roles with your partner and you become the "key holder".

Or you can try it again but this time attempt a longer amount of time and maybe this time you want to try a chastity device. Or try the same amount of time but add the chastity advice.

The point is to have fun and experiment with what makes the both of you feel comfortable.



2. This time use a chastity device for your chastity play when you leave to go on a business trip. This way you are away from your key holder but you have to behave yourself.

Sure you can watch as much hotel porn as you want but you will not be able to please yourself until you return home and they release you.



3. Another way for your key holder to tease and pleasantly torture you is to lock your chastity device for a period of time agreed upon but to find ways to torture your genitals each day.

For example, (1) they can plan a trip to the strip club for the both of you,

(2) the two of you can watch porn together,

(3) you can watch your key holder as they pleasure themselves in front of you,

(4) you have to give your naked partner a full body massage,

(5) you have to give your partner oral sex. Have your key holder use their imagination with ways to tease you while you are locked in your chastity device. Once you have been released then you can switch roles with your partner and have them be the submissive ones while you tease them.

Chastity play can be a lot of fun once the two of you are on the same page and have agreed on the desired goals. Whether in a relationship or single, chastity play can bring excitement to your sex life.

Keep reminding yourself that chastity play is about control, orgasm denial, and pleasing your key holder in order to achieve greater sexual satisfaction.

It takes time and practice but control and submissiveness can be learned.


For many people, chastity play is a big part of their lives, more of a lifestyle and for others it is just another way to spice things up in the bedroom.

For those who want to learn more about chastity play along with where and which chastity devices to buy, check out the websites and books on my links page so that you can research the topic more.

For those of you who just wanted an introduction into chastity play, then I hope you found my article interesting. If you have a question or want further information on chastity, please feel free to email me.


• Buy Female & Male Chastity Belts Here

 

Homework

Week 1:

Learn more about chastity play this week with "Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders."


Week 2:

Once you've learned more about chastity play, sit down with your lover to explain to them more about it along with why you'd like to try it. You never know if your partner is up for something unless you ask them.

If you're single, decide whether or not this is something you want to try on your own or find someone online to be your keyholder. There are tons of chastity communities online with people looking for keyholders.


Week 3:

Before you start your chastity play with yourself or your partner, do a test run without a chastity belt to see if it's something you really like. Go for a week or longer without an orgasm and see if you can handle it. It's not for everyone but it can add a little excitement to your sex life if even for a week or two.


Week 4:

Take it to the next level by deciding whether or not you want to be the keyholder or your lover. Once you decide visit my online store with your partner to pick out chastity belts.

 

- Sienna Sinclaire - Naughty Lifestyle Guide - Los Angeles Dating & Sex Coach