Love For The Single Girl

You don't need a partner to feel loved...love yourself!


We may yearn to be in a loving relationship, but what many of us don't realize, is that in order to find happiness as part of a couple, we need to first feel happy being single.

Also, just because you don't have a partner right now, doesn't mean you don't have lots of love to give, whether it's on a pet, a family member or friends.

Love isn't exclusive to couples, it's a free commodity that should be shared around as much as possible, especially on yourself.

Some people are happy with their single status, for the moment, as they focus on work, etc. Others might be on the lookout for a relationship.

Whatever your situation, being happy and settled in your own life, regardless of your relationship status, is the first step to guaranteeing a loving future with somebody else down the road.

Love yourself first

In any relationship, it's human nature to treat other people the way we treat ourselves. So if you don't love yourself, then how do you expect anyone else to?

How many of us actually put time aside for ourselves? When was the last time you bought yourself flowers, or lounged in a delicious bubble bath for a whole hour?

Do you cook yourself nice meals, or do you save that luxury for when you're entertaining other people?

When was the last time you bought yourself something special, just because you wanted to, and didn't feel guilty?

Remember, never feel bad or guilty about giving yourself attention. It's not self-indulgence, it's not egotism and it's not selfishness. It's simply loving yourself!

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Love your home

Your home says a lot about who you are.

We accumulate things in our lives that are connected to memories, both positive and negative, but you should make sure to get rid of anything in your home that does not make you feel good.

Whether it's photographs of an old lover, a piece of furniture, even the color of your walls. If there are things around your home that make you think bad thoughts, for whatever reason, then it's time to make a change.

Out with the old and in with the new. We spend too much time hanging on to things that make us feel unhappy.

Nostalgia can be healthy, but the bad kind can block the flow of positive energy, both within yourself and around your home.

You must start thinking of your house as an extension of yourself. In just the same way as we might change our hairstyle, get a makeover, or buy some new clothes.

Only hang on to things that make you smile or evoke a pleasant memory, and get rid of everything else.

Love your body

Few of us are 100% happy with how we look as there's always something we'd like to change, whether it's our hair, our boobs, our legs...whatever.

We are all different, and we are all beautiful. Right down to every lump, every bump, every imperfection. That's what makes us all unique.

It's time to quit finding fault with yourself and, instead, take a look in the mirror and really notice what's beautiful about you.

Love your curvy hips and ass? Then flaunt them with some form-fitting clothing to show them off.

If you have a great neckline, then highlight it with some dazzling jewelry or a low cut V-neck.

And when it comes to clothes, only ever buy items that fit you and that you love to wear.

Never buy anything that you plan to 'fit into' down the road' - it's only setting you up for failure and will make you feel bad about yourself if you don't accomplish that goal.

Also, don't buy clothes that you fantasize about wearing or that you think you 'should' be wearing. Know what looks good on you, what feels good, and show off what you have in your own way.

Your clothes should never be something you hide behind, they should be an extension of yourself, just like your home is.

There's nothing sexier to a partner than a woman who knows her own body, and is confident in showing it off.

This may take time for some people, because a positive body image doesn't just happen overnight, especially if you're not used to showing yourself off.

But just get used to the fact that you're amazing, and before long you'll be walking with an extra spring in your step, which will not go unnoticed.

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Love your friends

Just as you should only have 'good' things in your home, so the same applies to your social circle.

Most of us have friends and acquaintances who we have known for a long time, often since childhood, who have become part of our emotional furniture, even when they're not being nice to us.

But while we can all have off days, if you're finding that certain people in your life do nothing but bring you down and fill your space with negativity, then it's time to cut them loose.

Keeping negative people around you will only drag you down, because that's exactly what they want. They aren't happy, and so they don't want you to be.

Just as you should regularly clear your closet of clothes that don't fit, so you should do the same with friends.

Get rid of 'energy drainer' friends and make sure to surround yourself only with people who make you feel good about yourself.

Spending quality time with people you love - not necessarily a lover - is important to your overall wellbeing.

I believe wholeheartedly in holistic living, and that means looking after every individual part of my life, to make sure the 'whole' is happy.

Love your family

None of us would be who we are without our families - good or bad. Our upbringing is what shapes and makes us who we are.

If you're lucky enough to come from a loving family, don't neglect them. Even if you are separated by distance, there is no excuse in this digital age not to stay in contact.

Phone calls, emails, even proper letters, let them know how you're doing, and keep the lines of communication open, even if you're busy. It doesn't take long to say, "Hi mom how are you?"

Try and remember birthdays and other special occasions. Sending a card can mean the world to a loved one.

Absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder. If anything, it can make people feel neglected and ignored.

Just as we need quality friends, we all need family to lean on sometimes, whether it's as a shoulder to cry on, someone to sound off at, or someone to simply sit and listen when we need to talk.

But, just like friends, you may have family members that inject only negativity into your life. It's true that 'we can't choose our family', but you can choose whether to allow them to bring you down.

Don't be afraid to let somebody know that their presence in your life is not welcome anymore. If anything, you might find that they respect you more for it.

The point is, you're taking control of your life, learning to love yourself, and that means that sometimes you have make difficult decisions.

Love your job

Many people go to work because they have to. We all have bills to pay, commitments to fulfill, food to put on the table, etc.

But having a job that is also your hobby - like me - or one that you absolutely love is a blessing that should be celebrated.

If you don't have a job that makes you smile every morning, then maybe it's about time you found one that did.

We spend most of our daylight hours working, so why should that time be wasted on something you're not enjoying?

Because if you're loving what you do every day, then it's not really work, is it?

Of course this won't happen overnight. So if there's something you've always wanted to do, which might take training, further education or time to attain, why not get something to put in your home that acts as a constant reminder of the goal you're working towards?

Love your hobbies

I'm lucky enough to have a job that is also my hobby, but it's important for me to do other things, too.

If you don't have a hobby at all, then try to find something you love or something you have no idea you're going to love until you try it!

Everybody needs distractions in life, we need variety and we need stimulation. It doesn't have to involve spending money, it can be anything.

Drawing, painting, floristry, running, music, surfing, cooking, just anything that inspires you and makes you smile.

It should be something you want to do, not what your friends or lover might want you to do.

Retaining your individuality, your personality, is the one thing that's going to both sustain a relationship, and increase your own self-worth.

By having your own interests, you'll keep your independence and your power.

Love your pets

Pets make us smile, give us unconditional love, they won't stand us up, let us down, or make us doubt ourselves.

Next to family members, pets can be the most reliable, trustworthy things in our lives.

They're also great for our health and wellbeing. Numerous studies have shown that people with pets are less prone to stress and anxiety, and are able to think more clearly and be more rational.

The healing and spiritual powers that come through owning and looking after our pets, cannot be underestimated.

Love your single life!

As mentioned, you have to learn to love being single, if you're ever going to love being in a committed relationship.

Inner happiness does not come from being with somebody and having somebody to love, it comes from loving yourself first.

Being single is not tragic, it is not sad, it is not unfortunate or a backward step. Rather, it is a vital stepping stone to the next level of your life journey.

Achieving contentment and happiness as a single girl is a million times more important than grabbing the nearest fling just to fill a hole in your life. Because when that person is gone, there will still be a hole.

To achieve happiness as a single girl, you've got to put yourself out there. Sign up for some salsa classes, join the local art group, take a cooking class.

Do something, to get back in touch with yourself and what you like to do.

Mingle and socialize with friends as much as you can, too, but don't do it as a means to 'finding someone'.

Do it because you're happy in your own company, and when you are that self-confident, it will show to everyone around you.

- Sienna Sinclaire - Naughty Lifestyle Guide - Los Angeles Dating & Sex Coach